The Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast

BEE #136: Surviving the Holidays: Strategies for Managing Emotional Eating From Food To Family

• Kristin Jones

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Holiday Happiness Without the Holiday Hangover

As the holiday season approaches, it's easy to get caught up in the stress and emotional eating that often comes with it. But it doesn't have to be that way. In this episode, I share my personal journey through the mixed emotions of the holidays and offers practical strategies to help you navigate this challenging time.

Learn how to:

  • Plan ahead for social events and make informed food choices
  • Balance indulgence with moderation, categorizing foods into "must-haves," "maybes," and "waste of time"
  • Manage social interactions and embrace gratitude to enrich your holiday experience
  • Overcome emotional triggers and practice self-care during the festive season

Join me as I explore how to make this holiday season a brighter one, filled with peace, joy, and a renewed sense of appreciation for the blessings in our lives.

Connect with me online:

1. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breakthroughemotionaleating/
2. You Tube channel, Kristin Jones Coaching: https://www.youtube.com/@KristinJonesCoaching44
3 . Website: https://www.kristinjonescoaching.com

If you want to learn more about a non-diet approach to weight loss, get my FREE Stop Dieting Guide. Go to https://go.kristinjonescoaching.com/stop-dieting-guide

Needing more specific and direct support for your emotional eating and overeating? Check out my online course, Stop Dieting Start Feeling, and my personalized coaching program, Breakthrough To You.

If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to leave a review on the platform you used to listen and share it with your friends on your Instagram stories. Also, be sure to follow me on Instagram @breakthroughemotionaleating, and don't hesitate to slide into my DMs to share your thoughts and feedback. Your support means the world!

Speaker 1:

Hi and welcome to the Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast. My name is Kristen Jones and thank you so much for joining me this week. This recording is taking place on the Monday before Thanksgiving on 2024, and I have done similar podcasts in regards to how to handle um the holidays and how to handle any sort of social gathering, especially during this time of year, because I think this is such a unique time of year, Um, and and honestly, there are there's a real mixed bag of responses when you ask people like are you excited about the holidays? And many people I'm realizing as I get older, there are more and more people who do not enjoy the holidays as much as they once did, or they've had events that have happened that make the holidays very, very challenging, and so, for anyone who is an emotional overeater or a person who struggles with food and struggles to be in control of their emotions around food, this can be an incredibly challenging time of year and it can be really, really hard, and so I really want to provide you today with some really practical things that you can do and some thoughts that you could have about not only the holidays, but about your empowerment and how you can empower yourself when it comes to how you end up dealing with everything that goes on in your life during the holidays, as well as what you consume during the holidays, because that's going to dictate how you feel. Your consumption of food and how you feel in control of yourself is going to dictate how one day leads to another day, leads to another day, leads to another day, and so it is important that we get a handle on that and that you are able to kind of create some positive momentum for yourself so you feel like you can handle the holidays, regardless of really what you think of them in general. Anyway, just on a personal note, for me this holiday season I ordinarily very much enjoy the holiday season, but this holiday season is going to be really, really challenging. It's the first holiday, the first major holiday, that we will be having without my dad and my niece, and so we lost both of them in January of last year, and so that is really. This is going to be a hard time. It's going to be a hard time for myself, for other family members, especially for my mom and for my sister, and so we really you know, I know for me I have to really be sensitive to other people's emotions and other people's feelings and how I come into those events and how I handle myself. So for me, this is just definitely very different. The holidays are usually something I really look forward to, and I'm kind of going in with a lot of trepidation, so, yeah, so this is as much for me as it is for all of you, so I'm really really happy you're here.

Speaker 1:

If you have not joined my Facebook group, Breakthrough Emotional Eating Stop Overeating for Good. That group is active. I post all of my podcasts in there and any YouTube videos that I do. I do a weekly YouTube video as well. I have a YouTube channel entitled Kristen Jones Coaching as well, and you can subscribe to that. I also have all my podcast episodes up on YouTube as well. So lots of information, lots of things that you can get.

Speaker 1:

But this I think this episode in particular is going to be most appropriate for people to listen to throughout the holidays, to kind of remind themselves of what they need to do in order to put themselves in the best possible position. To, you know, wake up on January 2nd and feel really good about either maintaining their weight or possibly losing weight during the holidays you never know. So, um, starting off the the I call this the holiday eating survival guide and um, so I have, I have some some basic things that I want to kind of relate to you and and provide for you. So the first thing is going to be the first few things are going to be related, or are going to be related to food, and so we'll. We'll address those first, because food is just a very small portion of the holidays, and more so the social interactions are the things, and the familial interactions are oftentimes the things that bring people the most angst and then cause them to eat in a way that doesn't serve them and their goals and their lives. So we'll address the food first and then we'll get to the family piece afterwards. So the first thing that I always recommend and I recommend this all the time but you need to make a decision ahead of time.

Speaker 1:

If you have an event coming up, an event in the evening, an event at lunch, you need to make a plan and make decisions ahead of time about how you are going to go into that particular event. So you need to make a decision one by looking at, okay, where's this event happening? One or actually, where's the event happening? Do I actually really want to go? Um, do I know what they're serving? Do I know, um, how? You know how the structure of the food is going to be? Is it going to be a buffet, Is it going to be a sit down? Is it going to be just appetizers? And then plan your eating for that day around that party?

Speaker 1:

I think the worst thing that anyone can do is to not eat at all all day and then go to a party completely famished of a couple of cocktails and then, and then all bets are off. Then you, you end up eating way more than you ever planned on eating, and usually you're going to make the choices that are not going to be in your best interest. So, making a plan and then sticking to it for that day, based upon whatever the layout, is it for that day, based upon whatever the layout is, however, the party structure is going to be make that plan of how you want to eat throughout the day and then commit to that and decide this is really important to me I'm going to make a decision about what I'm going to eat and how I'm going to eat and how I plan on eating, going into whatever this gathering is, and then make that plan and then commit to it. So part of that planning is what I call being selective. Is we have to go into these holiday gatherings? We don't have to.

Speaker 1:

I suggest you go into these holiday gatherings with the thought of these foods are here, Many of these foods are here once a year. You don't see them very frequently. You don't see them, but you know, at Thanksgiving, at Christmas, at holiday gatherings, and so you, you, one of the things that I've always preached is I've never encouraged people to deny themselves to go to a party and say I'm not going to eat any of those things, because you may be really good at the party and not eat anything. And then you go home and you eat everything in your refrigerator because you're so, you feel so deprived, You're so angry, you feel so left out because you didn't partake of the things that you really wanted. So I encourage people to be selective about what are the things in the holidays and this is something that you want to do pre-party, you want to think ahead of time.

Speaker 1:

What are the things that really mean something to me, food-wise, during the holidays? What is it that really brings back positive memories, positive emotions that I feel like, oh God, that reminds me of my childhood. I really like that type of thing. I really like that hors d'oeuvre or I like those types of foods and you really feel compelled, you want to be able to partake of them. I don't think anyone should deny themselves. I think that just sets us up for binges later on. So really have a thought process about this. So I divide food into three categories, and the three categories are must-haves, maybes and waste of time. Okay, so must-have, maybes and waste of time. Those are my kind of my holiday food categories. So the must-ves obviously are the foods that you absolutely do not want to go without. I know I, cause I make it myself.

Speaker 1:

One of the things that we have at our, our, our any. We'll have it at Thanksgiving. We usually have it at Christmas as well is this bacon dip, and it is so good and we take, we get those scoops, uhito-Lay scoop chips and you eat them, for you eat it out of a cast iron skillet. It is so good. I make it, I'm the one who makes it in my family. It is so delicious and I love that. I love it. So bacon dip is definitely something I like to have. I like to have it. We also make the appetizers with the little town butter crackers and we put bacon and then sometimes we sprinkle Parmesan cheese or brown sugar and you wrap them in bacon and then you cook them. Oh my God, y'all, if you haven't had those. They're so good, those are amazing. Love those.

Speaker 1:

Those are things that I don't want to go without. I don't need to have 50 of them, but I don't want to go without them. So in my mind, I make sure that my sister's going to make them and I'm in my mind I'm always like, okay, if I see those, that's something I want to have. That is an event, that is a, that is something that reminds me of the holidays. It's special. I usually don't have them any other time of year. That's something I want to have and I'm going to allow myself to have that. I'm also going to allow myself to realize that I don't have to eat a ton of it. I don't have to eat it. I don't have to eat a year's worth. In this one sitting I can just have a little bit and then maybe I can get the recipe. And if I want to make it, you know, any other time of the year I can do that, but for right now, this is a special holiday food that I want to have and I want to have a little bit of it. I don't need to have a ton, but I do want to, I do want to allow myself to have that. So, again, you commit to eating small portions of these foods, but you, but there are the foods that are really sentimental to you, they have, they have meaning to you and you want to have them and there's nothing wrong with that. So, must-haves, the maybe foods, are foods that you would only eat if you went to a party and they like really looked good and you were like, wow, that's kind of different.

Speaker 1:

Like I see people like making cheesecakes. I can have cheesecake anytime, unless it's like a holiday cheat like. And I have something I have like my own personal feelings about like pumpkin stuff, like pumpkin things. I can have a little bit of it. Pumpkin goes a lot, pumpkin flavor goes a long way and I don't need a lot of it. So I can have a little bit of pumpkin and be totally happy.

Speaker 1:

But like cheesecakes, like cheesecakes, unless it's a, unless it's a seasonal, autumnal flavor or it's something special with, you know, like peppermint or, and I probably wouldn't even have that. But if it was some sort of special kind of cheesecake that somebody was making, I maybe would decide to do that. But I also am like, eh, that cheesecake, I could kind of have that anytime if I really wanted it. I could go to the cheesecake factory and I could get my cheesecake. Do I really have to have it now? Those are the decisions. You have to be a little bit more thoughtful about that. So I don't really have an attachment to cheesecake. I can have it anytime. I could make one myself, I could have my sister make one, I can go to the cheesecake factory. So cheesecake's not going to have that, not going to have that big of a pull on me. It's a maybe. It's like, eh, there was nothing else, I might have it, but I give it. I kind of assign a value to it, and then I'm like, eh, I could walk by it, I could walk away from it, or I could have some, and it'll depend on how I feel.

Speaker 1:

So I don't go in thinking I have to eat everything at this, everything at whatever the party is, wherever the gathering is. I don't have to eat everything. I now start to kind of categorize things and and those things that I could have any other time. I'm not really that into. I'm not really that into, I don't need to have those and it honestly it kind of eliminates a lot of things at parties where you don't feel like, oh my gosh, I have to eat all this stuff. It kind of eliminates a lot of things at parties where you don't feel like, oh my gosh, I have to eat all this stuff.

Speaker 1:

The waste of time. The waste of time category is all the things that you could have at any other gathering any other time of year and it isn't related to the holidays. And, personally speaking, I always tell people you do not want to waste your stomach space on things that you could have any other time of the year. What falls into this category for me is salad. I am not wasting my stomach space on salad, Not on Thanksgiving, not on Christmas, not at any gathering. Salad not going to do it, Not going to waste time with that. Cheese and crackers I can get cheese and crackers at the store anytime. Those deli trays that people get the sandwiches, y'all. Anytime of the year you can have those. They're not extra special at the holidays. You can bypass those. Bypass those. The shrimp, the little shrimp with the cocktail sauce those are always at parties. Don't make this be like, oh my gosh. Oh, look, there's shrimp, let's have those. You can have those any other time.

Speaker 1:

Save and make your decisions based upon what has meaning to you and what makes you feel good, makes you happy, and really assign and make that. If you're going to make food a focal point of going out, make it worth it. Make it be something that is connected to the holidays, that gives you a nice memory or it has some sort of positive connection. But wasting your time on shrimp and salad and cheese and crackers and I'll tell you anything else. And one other thing anything store-bought I will not eat If it's bought. If somebody bought it in a store and brought it, like if they have dip, I'm not. I'm not eating chips and dip unless it's those scoops in my bacon dip, but I'm not eating that Like.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to waste my time and my space and my stomach and I'm going to be really, really selective about what I eat. So go in with that attitude and it will. It will reduce the amount of things that you're going to eat. You're going to have a much more enjoyable time because you're going to really be selective and it's not just going to be like oh, I'm just going to eat whatever's here because it's here. Let's be a little bit choosier. Let's take better care of our bodies and give ourselves what we truly want and really think it through and give yourself the things that you really actually want and enjoy them guilt-free, and you'll end up not eating as much and you'll end up leaving the party feeling so much better. So give yourself freedom to have those foods, but be selective. Be selective about what you're going to be eating, All right.

Speaker 1:

The third thing is you need to take care of yourself throughout the holiday season. Self-care is always something that's important, but especially during the holidays, when it's so stressful there's so many things going on, People are pulled in so many different directions you have to start planning how you are going to take care of yourself. So if you are a person who already exercises and already moves their body, you need to prioritize that and put that into your schedule. Make it a plan that you are not going to neglect, that you are not going to stop exercising because you just got too busy. You need to make sure you maintain your schedule, maintain your routine, because routines sometimes, during these chaotic times, are exactly what we need to ground us, to make us feel good and to keep us focused on what our goals are. So if you are a person who exercises, you maintain your exercise regime. You make sure you put that in your calendar. You have it time focused, time planned where you can get exactly what you need, taking care of yourself. So schedule your workouts as if it were a meeting, making sure that you get it accomplished. You also want to plan time for special things that make you feel good.

Speaker 1:

Oftentimes, people are so focused on oh my gosh, I've got to buy these gifts, I've got to buy gifts for everybody else and you forget to take care of yourself. And that's why people go to gatherings, or they go to Thanksgiving or go to Christmas, and they are so stressed out because they haven't taken care of themselves. And then how did they take care of themselves? By eating everything in sight. And so it's really valuable and really important to plan massages, if you like, getting a massage or a facial, or time to get your nails done, or time to.

Speaker 1:

One of the things I always, always recommend to people is that you have a book or a podcast as kind of your go-to. That is your. I hate to use the term escape, but it is your your opportunity to kind of block out the world and just kind of go inward and kind of I don't know if you've ever had a really good book, that you kind of crawl into a book and you become so into it. A podcast can be the same way, but allow yourself to have those little breaks away from all of the chaos and give yourself that gift of that book or that podcast or that playlist that just takes you away, makes you happy, puts you at ease, de-stresses you and allows you to be able to kind of recharge yourself so you can go back to being all the things you need to be for everybody during the holidays. You have to be there for yourself first before you can be there for anybody else. All right, Speaking of anybody else, now we have to start talking about the people that we interact with during the holidays, and oftentimes this is the most stressful thing for people is whether it's family members, whether it's friends they have to run into, whether it's it's people from work that they have to now socialize with and they aren't really sure how they're going to socialize with them, and that's really awkward and uncomfortable and I don't feel like I need to social, or should socialize, with my boss, or it feels weird and yucky and whatever.

Speaker 1:

All of those things need to be laid out and addressed ahead of time. Your brain likes to know your plan. Your brain likes to have a plan. When you go into something and you just kind of go in haphazardly and you go in blindly, that's when things are going to go sideways. So you have to make sure that you make a plan for yourself. So one of the things that's really important is to know what are your triggers when you go to a social event.

Speaker 1:

I know for me I cannot stand small talk. Like is nothing more awkward than to get stuck talking to somebody that you're like I don't know how to walk away, Like I don't know how to get out of this conversation, Like I'm pulling all of these questions out. I'm asking all these questions because I just don't have anything to say. I'm not quite sure what I want to say, and it's, it's those awkward silences and you just want to like, you just want to escape. And it's, it's those awkward silences and you just want to like you just want to escape. You need to know, okay, if that is what my thing is, if that is what like that's for me, I'm I'm uncomfortable with that. So I have to go in having a plan of like. Okay, I always have a drink in my hand. It's usually water. I always have a drink in my hand and if I get into a situation that is awkward and uncomfortable, I always make sure that I drink the rest of my drink and then, oh, I've got to go refill, I'll be back, and then I never go back. But it's important to plant. My brain relaxes when I know, oh yeah, if I get uncomfortable I'm just going to go refill my drink, or if I get uncomfortable, I'm going to excuse myself and go to the bathroom. But I have a plan, I know what I'm going to do and I have that in my mind and my brain then relaxes and allows me to be able to be a little bit more social in those situations.

Speaker 1:

The other thing is if you know that a person in your life is someone who triggers you whether it's a relative, whether it's a friend of the family's and you know they're coming, you know they're going to be at an event that you're going to be at Right. The one thing that I would highly highly recommend is that you remember that people in general don't change, and so if somebody has been a thorn in your side for the last 25 years and it's that uncle who always says the things about your weight, or, oh my gosh, are you finally going to see somebody? Are you ever going to get somebody? Are you ever going to get married? We all have those, those people who say those things that are just like oh God, they're killing me and so don't expect them to change.

Speaker 1:

You have to be the one who changes. You have to be the one who says I know where this is going to go, so I'm not going to engage. I'm going to try to avoid them as much as possible. Don't go in thinking, oh, I'm going to change them. I'm going to go in and I'm going to try and interact with them this year. It doesn't mean that you have to ignore them, but we all know people who know our triggers are going to step on them, are going to push those buttons every single time. You have to put it upon yourself to be like I'm going to protect myself. If that means somebody starts saying something, I get up and I walk out and I go to another room, or I busy myself with the kids, or I take the kids out for a walk, or I do something that is going to get me out of that situation.

Speaker 1:

Don't put yourself in situations where you know inevitably how someone's going to be and you're thinking, well, maybe they've changed, Maybe they're going to be different. They're not going to be, they're going to be exactly who they are and you can allow them to be who they are, but you don't have to be a part of it. So, having that plan of when the conversation goes in this direction, that's when I get up and I go into the kitchen and I start helping, or I ask if I can set the table, or can I take care of one of the babies, or let me go take somebody for a walk If somebody's crying and crabby, whatever it is. But have no, no the scenarios, no the scene, and try to set yourself up to be as successful as you can. Because again, you put yourself in those situations and you get flustered and the easiest and quickest and most available and convenient thing for you is to block out your emotions and just eat, and that's what. That's what most of us do is.

Speaker 1:

Reactions and overeating oftentimes are a result of something that somebody says at some point during the day, and and just don't allow yourself to have to even be open to that. It it you don't have to put yourself in that position. You can get yourself up and you can go to another room. You can get yourself up and you can go to another room. You can get yourself up and you can make yourself busy doing something else. It's always about what's best for you self-preservation and protecting your heart and your feelings.

Speaker 1:

And speaking of your feelings, the next thing is you have to allow yourself to feel your emotions and to feel. And if, if the holidays are hard, own that and be okay with it and don't feel guilty and don't feel like I should really be happy. Everybody seems so happy. Everybody else is stressed too, so don't, don't set yourself up to have to be anything other than who you are. And if it's hard, that's okay. It's okay that it's hard. And if a party rolls around and you're like, oh, I said I'd go and you don't want to go, send them a text and say you know what? I just, I just I'm not up to it, I'm not up to it or I don't feel well or whatever it is.

Speaker 1:

But own your emotions, feel them, decide what's going to be best for you in the long run and then do that and know that how you feel is important. You don't have to go anywhere for anybody else. It is always going to be what's going to be the best thing for you, what's going to make you feel cared for and loved and valued, and how are you going to connect with your own emotions? You have to feel those emotions because if we bottle them up and we don't feel them, they're going to come out in other ways that are going to be so detrimental and detrimental to not only you, but detrimental also to other relationships that you have. And you want to really try to maintain positivity throughout the holidays and not be I'm not saying be fake, but at the same time, you want to allow yourself to be able to feel all your emotions, everything that you are feeling, and to make sure that you're able to come out of the holidays and come out of any interaction that you have with people feeling like you were honest with yourself and you were real and you were your own person.

Speaker 1:

And the last thing we have to do during this time that will really help you be able to manage your eating and manage your emotions is to be grateful, and gratitude is, hands down, the best thing that anyone can do. If practiced daily, it will change your life. And it's just acknowledging the things that you have, the blessings that you have in your life. And when we acknowledge the blessings that we have and we recognize them and we think about them, we get more of them because we attract what we think about. And so always being in that place of the glass half empty, of what I don't have, that is only going to send out more of that scarcity mindset, that scarcity energy, instead of that abundance energy.

Speaker 1:

We always, every single person, has something to be grateful for, something to be thankful for, and we just have to find it. So sometimes there's some days that it's a little bit harder than others, but we always want to be as grateful and as appreciative for all the things we have, even if we feel that we should be treated in a different way or we should have gotten more. It's just accepting and knowing where you are and knowing what you have, Because, again, what you have will expand when you are appreciative and when you're grateful, and it just makes you feel better. It just brings that positivity and it's not toxic positivity. It's legitimately being grateful for all the things that we have, Because as I sit here in my home and I look at my dog who oftentimes makes me insane, but I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful for him and his place in my life, I'm grateful for where I live, I'm grateful for you, I'm grateful for having this podcast, having my business.

Speaker 1:

I'm grateful for you, I'm grateful for having this podcast, having my business, and I just sometimes forget those things. So it's important to always remember every day, daily gratitude, counting your blessings and being appreciative, not just because it's Thanksgiving, but all the time, making that a daily part of your life. It will absolutely change your life and it is something that will help you be able to be at peace with where you are on your on any kind of journey you're on, on any type of goal setting journey that you're on, but especially on a weight loss journey. We always want to make sure we're appreciative and grateful for where we are today. So I hope these tips have given you some ideas of some things that maybe you can do in going into your events and making sure that you're prepared, that you have the right mindset, that you decide.

Speaker 1:

This is how I want to. This is how I want to handle it. We want to always go into any of our events and any of our our gatherings with what are some, and it's not looking for negatives, it's just being aware of what are the potential triggers and how do I want to respond to them. How do I want? And then committing this is how I'm going to respond, this is what I'm going to do and give your brain that plan because it will relax once it has that plan. So make sure that you kind of think things through and go in with that grateful attitude of appreciating everything that you have, but having a plan for how am I going to handle things, how am I going to handle this event and then go in, execute, honor yourself, give yourself those festive holiday foods that you love and then make it the best gathering that you can make it, avoiding those people that possibly could be landmines for you.

Speaker 1:

So I hope that everyone has. I hope this has been helpful. I hope everyone has an amazing holiday season and, again, we are all so blessed. We have so many things in our lives that we can be thankful for and appreciative of, and so starting with that, starting with gratitude, will always make every situation so much brighter and give you something to really really focus on that will uplift your lives your life as well as the lives of those people around you. I hope you have an amazing holiday and I will see you all next week. And take care and have a good one.